Raven diary #46 The Smooth Tanks pt 3

Dear diary,

Raven here.

When we arrive at the Seattle Aquarium, (turns out Aquarium Zen was too small. They had to change the location at the last second) we’re surprised to see there aren’t any humans showing up for the show. There’s only one human at the check-in space, but we’re cats. We don’t need a silly membership or whatever. We sneak past the guy without getting even a glance.

“There,” Lolli whispers. “They’re starting!”

We paw over to the huge tank, where the opening seal duet is just swimming off to tumultuous applause of hundreds of fins.

“Thank you very much, Sealy Dan,” a goldfish blubs, swimming up to a microphone.

“And now,” bubbles the announcer. “The moment you’ve all been waiting for. Hailing all the way from the Elwa River, give it up for your favorite fishy band and mine. IT’S… THE SMOOTH TAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

We all clap and cheer as hard as our fins or paws can as a MASSIVE submarine comes down slowly from the top of the huge tank. We gasp. The submarine must be the size of seven of my handsome man in his huge wheelchair back to back.

“Whoa!” I yowl. “What is that thing!?”

“That?” Lolli purrs. “That’s the MotherSub. Haven’t you ever seen the Tanks play live? They bring that thing down at every show.”

Before I can remark that I haven’t ever seen the Smooth Tanks live, the windows of the ginormous sub roll down and the applause gets a million times louder as the Smooth Tanks finally swim out.

“Hello aquarium!” the singer blubs. “Are you ready to get FUNKY!!!!!!!!!!”

The crowd roars.

“Well then let’s get SWIMMING!!!!!!!!!!!!”

But when Jerry Dorsal tries to play the opening chords of Tailfin Boogie, almost no sound comes out.

“Wait a minute,” blubbers Dorsal. “Where’s my guitar amp? I swear I took it out of the submarine.”

“And where are my drumsticks?” asks the drummer, Katie Finley. “I can’t just play with my fins?”

“And where’s my bass???????? And my microphone!!!!!!!!!” says Pectoral Jones, being both the bassist and lead singer.

The crowd gasps.

“HOLY MACKREL!!!!!!!!” blubbers Katie, being a mackerel herself. “Someone’s stolen our equipment right under our fins!”

“Someone has to help us,” says Dorsal. “Is anyone in the crowd willing to help us with solving this such mysterious case?”

Surprisingly, no one raises a fin. So, Lolli, Honeytoast and I do the only thing we see fit. We bang on the glass.

“Who’s there?” asks Pectoral.

“Hello Smooth Tanks,” I yowl. “We are cats, but not to fear. We are HUGE Tanks fans.”

“That we are,” purrs Honeytoast. “And we’ve had plenty of experience solving mysteries.”

“Please let us solve your mystery,” Lolli says. “We’ll find your equipment faster than you can say fish food.”

The band swims right up to us, only glass separating us.

“Our own predator solving our own mystery,” Pectoral Jones blubs. “I don’t think so.”

The crowd is in stunned silence.

“We promise,” I meow. “We’re huge Smooth Tanks fans and huge mystery solvers. I have all your records.”

Then we tell the whole story of the human Ramona and how we helped get rid of her hatred of felines. The band listens intently and Katie only interrupts once to say that Scrat Ching Post is one of the Smooth Tanks’ biggest influences. They nod as we tell our story. This oughta convince them good!

“We promise we’ll take the backstage passes,” Honeytoast finishes.

“Alright, alright,” Dorsal says. “You can solve our mystery, as long as you’re back here in time for the show.”

Once we’ve cleared the big tank, we set off on our mystery solving journey. Almost immediately, we find our first clue.

“LOOK,” Lolli yowls over the loud sound of the wave pool. “A TRAIL OF WEIRD STICKY TINY BLOBS.”

“LET’S FOLLOW THEM AND GET AWAY FROM THESE WAVES,” I yowl.

We follow the windy trail until we reach the octopus tank.

“AHA!” I yowl. “What’s your name, octopus. We know you stole the Smooth Tanks’ equipment.”

“And I should’ve known!” growls Honeytoast. “Those were octopus suckers!”

“Huh?” says the octopus. “I’m Boris, by the way and I love the Smooth Tanks. In fact, I was just about to head down to the show when I heard the terrible news.”

“But the trail of suckers,” Honeytoast meows. “It all makes sense!”

“Well then someone’s framing me,” Boris says. “I’ve just been here in my tank. Besides, if I were to steal the band equipment, I would’ve had to get all the way out of my tank, and I swear I’d never do that. I’m not that kind of octopus.”

“Well,” I yowl. “Someone has framed Boris and we’re going to find out who if it’s the last thing I do!”

“We’re sorry we accused you,” Lolli purrs. “We’ll let you know when the concert starts.”

We continue on our way as Boris waves a tentacle goodbye.

“Well,” I meow. “Where should we head next?”

“Look!” yowls Honeytoast. “A note on the door!”

We walk over to the door and read the note. It says, “The Smooth Tanks aren’t the only ones rocking out today. We have a show to play too.”

Then we look down and see a huge beach ball next to the door. We gasp as we all all think the same thing.

“SEALY DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Come on,” Honeytoast yowls. “Follow me to the seals!”

When we reach the seal tank, we find that Sealy Dan has already started performing. But that doesn’t faze us. We run up to the tank and yowl at the top of our feline lungs.

“STOP THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Sealy Dan stops playing and looks at us. The small crowd of fish and otters gasps.

“We know what you’ve done!” Lolli yowls. “We’ve seen the writing on the wall, LITERALLY!!!!!”

“Huh?” says one seal, pressing his nose against the glass. “What writing? What wall?”

“You can’t fool us!” I yowl. “That’s the Smooth Tanks’ equipment! We read the note and saw the ball you put on the door.”

“Okay fine,” barks the other seal. “This IS the Smooth Tanks’ equipment. But we couldn’t help it. We dropped our equipment in the big tank when we swam out before the Smooth Tanks came on. So, we just decided to take the Tanks’ equipment and leave for our show. We’re sorry. We should return each other’s instruments.”

And that’s what we did. In 20 minutes, tops, we’d swapped out the instruments. And don’t ask how we managed to get our paws in the tanks. We just could.

“And now,” says a seal. “We will apologize to you and the Smooth Tanks by playing with them at the show.”

And that’s exactly what happens. After a brief explanation from Sealy Dan and a round of applause thanking us for solving the case, the Smooth Tanks and Sealy Dan put on the best concert EVER!!!!

THE END…