Dear diary,
Raven here.
Now that the human children are gone in something called “school”, there are various upsides and downsides. They used to be online, and I would run past and all the humans in boxed squares would admire me. I still remember the reactions as I whizzed behind the handsome boy. “Look at that cute kitty. What an adorable cat.” Even online, it was a little nerve-racking to have all those humans goggle at me. Now, I get to enjoy cat life without having to hear 30 humans spying on me. I get to invite a few cats over to play Cards Against Catumanity, which has a lot of jokes about dogs, litter boxes and other cat stuff. I get to sit on the windowsill and wonder about Lollipop. Another upside, I get to roam free and the human girl won’t harrass me! MEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another upside, I still get to whiz past the human grownups while their in their grownup human meetings. I even have meetings of my own. I’m the founder, creater and executive director of a secret organization of Seattle cats called SJFFFF (Social Justice Fund for Friendly Furry Felines). We’re a large organization of Seattle cats who fight for equal rights for all cats, particularly black cats, cats of color, and homeless cats looking for human owners. We currently consist of me, Honeytoast, Badger, Dotty and many more. We’re currently at 90 billion cat dollars and we’re working on recruiting a new member… HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s a grueling process, but as our motto clearly states, WE’RE WHITE CATS AND BLACK CATS, WE STAND VERY STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HISS AT THE RACIST AND YOWL AT THE WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here’s our logo:
So where was I… Oh yes. The human children off in school. I always get a little carried away when talking about SJFFF. On a downside, the handsome boy’s toes aren’t available, but I still have many other things to sit on or in.
Dear Raven,
My human child is also back at school, but his father still does meetings on his computer. It is fun to walk in front of him during the meetings and when somebody (inevitably) goes “cute kittie” I turn my butt to the camera. He gets soooooo embarrassed. HAHAHAAHA
Cards against Cathumanity is my favorite!!! Which answer would you pick to this card?: “Next on the Cat Sports Network, the World Series of ________”
A. Dog barf on the carpet
B. Ozzie Ozcat’s Diary of a Mad Feline
C. When the litter box hasn’t been changed in like a week…
D. Hacking hairballs into the bird bath
This was the last round when I played with Fruitloop and Sniffle (they live next door). I lost. GRRRWWWWLLLLLLL. But we had a nice fight afterward.
More seriously, I am quite honored to be considered for a position with SJFFFF, and gladly accept your kind invitation. Perhaps I can start a chapter of SJFFFF in Houston. With your wise guidance, I’m sure we could do great things here. There is much injustice here in Tex-HSSSSSS. GRRRWWWWWLLLLL Power to furry-felines everywhere!
Keep it real Raven!!!!
Best wishes,
Harold de Houston (^^)