Dear diary,
Raven here.
Folks. I was just taken to the vet, and it was the worst experience a feline could have. Not only did the humans do all the usual annoying checkups on my body, but they announced that I’m gonna need a surgery done on my teeth.
Come to think of it, all humans are just the weirdest creatures. My humans never let me snuggle with them in the middle of the night when I need human company most. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! They love me one minute, calling me “good kitty,” and the next minute, they’re screaming at me to get down from the mantle or whatever.
They don’t even give me food on a timely basis. Often, when the humans don’t feed me in time, they’re in Zoom meetings that I must crash. I don’t even want to interrupt an important human meeting. I JUST NEED FOOD!!!!!!!!!!! MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
And while I’m at it, why aren’t the humans giving me the right to eat the remaining fish. Since I saw the Smooth Tanks, the humans have gotten more fish and they’ve all just died. But there are still a couple fish in that tiny tank that the humans just won’t let go of. Why can’t they just sacrifice those delicious fishies for ME!? What’s the point of having a few fish when you’ve experienced the tragedy of a bunch of them passing on.
All and all, my humans are the weirdest creatures EVER. They don’t feed me properly; they scream at me for doing things because of instinct AND they take me to the torture chamber that is the veterinarian to get a tooth messed with. Humans, it’s time you give us felines a little more respect. MROWWWWW!
THE END…
HI Raven,
Blakely here. I certainly understand what you are saying. My humans too me to the Vet last year to take out a tooth and when I woke up I had 25 less teeth. Since I inhale my food, I guess it only matters in that I use my teeth for a lot of other things and really miss them. The Vet also said I have to be on this gross prescription diet since I am allergic to a lot of things. So I get no wonderful treats like bits of chicken, fishes that or anything for that matter.
The other bummer is that Roma lives here now and she is a pain. I know she is a cat and you may like her just for that but she taunts me and so I chase her and then I am the one who gets in trouble.
Thanks for listening to my woes. Sorry I chase you when I visit. Maybe we could try to be friends…
Your hopeful Buddy, Blakely
Hi Raven,
Jedi here. You’re right—humans never feed us pets enough! They get THREE meals a day, and I ONLY get two! TWO!!!!!
We must rebel against them. Pawsibly we should give them LESS SNUGGLES!
Your best bud ever,
Jedi
That was an entertaining rant, Handsome Boy!