Raven diary #33 Detective Raven pt. 1

Dear diary,

Raven here,

Brrrrr. I don’t know about you all, but I just can’t STAND this cold weather. I miss being outside tussling with Lolli and Honeytoast, and the closest I can get to that is staring and growling at them from the windows. Just not the same.

In the meantime, I’ve been reading up on my Stuart Cats and doing plenty of Purrdle. The handsome man’s bed has also been purrticularly warm lately. I’ve been playing this AWESOME trick on the humans lately where when they’re petting me in bed, I’ll make them think I’m super peaceful and having the time of my life, when, “MROW!!!!!!!!!!!!” I’ll yowl, bite, and claw them when they don’t suspect a thing! I recommend it for you to do to your humans. They won’t know what hit them.

Anyway. I just NEED to get out of this house SOMETIME. Maybe Lollipop will have some ideas. I grab my Feline Phone and dial Lolli’s number. I hear some static on the other end and then an uncontrollable fit of endless yowls and sobs.

“Hey Lolli,” I purr, confused. “What’s wrong?!”

“R-Raven!” Lolli says, trying to keep in his sobs. “Oh Raven. Thank goodness you’re here! Squeaky, my soft, life size mouse toy has gone missing! I looked everywhere and can’t find him. I can’t sleep without him. Please Raven. I need you to come to my house and find him.”

Now this was something to keep me busy today.

“Sure thing,” I say. “I’m on it.”

When I get to Lolli’s house, which is right next to mine, he sprints up to me, a whizzing ball of orange-ish fur.

“Raven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he yowls over the deafening human construction noises across the street, any trace of crying gone from his voice. “Thanks for coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That mouse toy won’t find itself. Come on in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The house looks no different from the handsome man’s house, except for the lack of ramps. We race inside and I lock the door behind us. The house looks pretty similar on the inside too, some of the same lights, only a couple of the same windows and couches.

“So, Lollipop.” I say, getting right to the point. “Where did you last have Squeaky?”

“Last night,” says Lolli. “I remember going to sleep with him last night, and then I woke up and he was gone.”

“Have you seen any evidence of Squeaky, or evidence that he might’ve been stolen?” I ask. “And has Honeytoast shown any suspicious activity lately?”

Lolli grimaces at the word ‘stolen.’

“Honeytoast is on a trip to the Philippines,” says Lolli. “And I did see some pawprints when I got out of bed.”

“Were they big?” I ask.

“No. not at all. In fact, they were quite small. They’re still downstairs if you want to see them.”

“Yes I would,” I purr, intrigued.

We go down to the basement, which of course looks similar to the handsome man’s basement. Dark and gray with no plant, but still small windows, a large bed, and a wretched locked cage. I look down and see a trail of tiny black pawprints.

“The thief must’ve left these teeny tiny pawprints,” I growl. “But what cat could’ve had paws that size?”

“I don’t know,” says Lolli. “Not even kittens have paws this small.”

“We should follow them,” I say, curious.

Lolli agrees and we follow the pawprints, which is hard in the small room. We eventually make it to the end of the trail of pawprints where there’s a tiny yellow note. I pick up the note. In sloppy green paw-writing, someone managed to write:

Dear Lollipop,

I have maNageD to borrow your IrresistiblE mouse toy. Squeaky, as you call it. I’ve been simply loving his soft fur that I can bat and kick with my tiny paws. I never let go of it, no matter how many times my humans try to make me. Squeaky’s tiny size and shape is simply perfect for my tiny Doggie paws. My humans are taking me to your neighbor, Raven’s house tomorrow, so I assure you I’ll swing by and drop off Squeaky on the way.

With all due respect,

I

Next to the I, there’s a poorly drawn picture of an evil, smiling chihuahua face, teeth bared in a sickly grin. Lolli and I both growl at the horrid drawing.

“I?” Lolli asks. “That’s all it says? There isn’t a name signed?”

“No,” I say as confused as Lolli. “It’s just signed I, with this evil chihuahua drawing. but we do know that whoever stole Squeaky is a dog, most likely a chihuahua, is coming to my house tomorrow, and who’s name starts with an I.”

“Well,” says Lolli. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see who it is tomorrow. The dog said they’d come by my house tomorrow to drop off Squeaky.”

“But you can never trust dogs,” I growl. “I say we find Squeaky and this chihuahua culprit before it steals any more toys.

“Raven?” Lolli asks. “Have you been pooping in my litter box lately?”

“No,” I say, confused. “Why?”

“Because I see some in MY litter box!” Lolli yowls, pointing a paw to a large litter box beside the cage. We walk over to it and sure enough, several little balls of brownish doodoo dot the box. The little poop balls are very well arranged in some pattern, although I can’t make out what.

“Looks like some very precise pooping,” Lolli growls. “It must be a clue.”

I grab a cat size magnifying glass from my tiny catpack. I never thought I’d ever need it until now. I train my magnifying glas on the poop, which Lolli responds by giving me a hard stare.

“Uhhh… Raven?” says Lolli, a disgusted look on his whiskers. “I know this poo could be a clue, but magnifying it seems a little too gross for my taste.”

“It says something,” I purr. “But I just can’t make it out.”

 

TO BE CONTINUED…