Dear diary.
Raven here.
Cats and kittens. You won’t belive this, but I’ve called a truce with Lollipop.
It all started three weeks ago. Cue the flashback please.
I was just hanging around the house with my humans when I heard a low, guttural, PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Cats have very sensitive hearing, so they can perceive the slightest changes in low, guttural, PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS that humans can’t. Humans just hear it as a straight up, low, guttural, PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Lollipop’s has an undulating sound to it. Like a human-made fire truck.
I dash out to the backyard, make purrrrfect eye contact with my frenemy, and I can tell. Our next battle is under way.
MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I won that one folks. We depart and I walk back to my human’s house with a strange thought racing through my cat brain. Fighting with Lollipop is getting a little boring. It goes the exact same way every time. Maybe I should call a temporary truce. Maybe it’s time to finally stop for a moment and think about our actions.
One week later…
Folks. I’ve decided it’s time. I walk out to Lollipop’s house rehearsing what I’m going to say. When I finally get there, I run up to whisper in my frenemy’s ear.
“Hey, Lollipop.”, I whisper. “I have to tell you something.” “Let’s go around to the back so no humans hear.”
We walk behind the house and close all the human made doors for complete privacy, and after a thorough check that every single door is closed, I tell Lollipop my plan.
“I’m starting to think our battles are getting a little repetitive.”, I say.
“So”, Lollipop prompts me.
“I think we should call a truce”, I continue.
At this, Lollipop’s light brown eyes widen with astonishment. They look like they’re on the verge of popping out of their sockets.
“A TRUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, Lollipop yells so loudly that I’m afraid the humans will hear. Luckily, no human reaction.
“But we’re such good frenemies.”, Lollipop continues in a much calmer tone now. “Why a truce.” “We’re just at the peak of our frenemy relationship.”
“I think our battles are getting a little boring”, I reply.
“NO RAVEN, PLEASE!!!”, Lollipop demands. “WE’VE BEEN FRENEMIES FOR SO LONG!!!!!!!” “I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR OUR NEXT BATTLE!!!!!” YOU…
“MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!”, I yowl to interrupt the beseeching. “I demand a court trial.”
This makes Lollipop even more demanding. I tell Lollipop that the place we’re going is the handsome boy’s learning house (learning house is the cat way of saying the human word, school), Aki Kurose Middle School, but on the weekends, when all the humans are gone, it’s secretly CatCourt Headquarters. the most famous cat court trial service in town. Even promising that I’ll play Selena Gonzalez (Lollipop’s favorite human pop star) on the way there, he still won’t budge.
“Come on Lollipop”, I say. “I’ve already informed the court. “Let’s go”,
More cries and demanding.
I decide to completely ignore Lollipop’s cries of demand and get him to the trial. I grab Lollipop’s paw, drag him to the CatMobile, stuff him in the back seat, pile into the drivers seat right across, and we’re off.