Dear diary,
Raven here.
Folks. Around this house, the humans have been talking a lot about their human politics. It’s mostly super boring. Some people named Harris and Trump and some walls. But there is one part that I’ve been paying some attention to and that deeply infuriates me. One of the evil humans on the “far right” as my humans refer to it, has been using the term “childless cat lady” to call some humans as an all-out insult. There are even shirts that say, “I’m a childless cat lady.” I bet that human has never had a cat in his life. And if he did, he’d use “childless cat lady” to be kind rather than using it to discourage other humans and felines.
But, since this human IS in fact using “childless cat lady” to insult humans and felines, I have decided to put together some of my old colleagues from Cute Cat Revolutionary (CCR) in my backyard to discuss this urgent political matter.
“Hello, my dear felines,” I meow. “I’m sure all our humans have been talking about this human, Vance using this childless cat lady insult. We must fight back somehow. Any ideas?”
“We could try to get Vance a cat to show him how loveable we are,” says my newest colleague, Leon.
“Who wants to be his cat, though?” growls Honeytoast. “My bet is that he’s probably as evil to cats as he is to humans. If not more!”
“Besides,” says Peter, who’s kind of a celebrity, being the cat of the future state governor AND having his own Instagram page. “Isn’t he on the other side of the country?”
“Yes, he is,” I meow. “I don’t think we want to meet Vance in any way, shape or form.”
“I know!” yowls Sunny, my neighbor human’s replacement for the recently deceased Lollipop. “We make shirts that have some counter statement on them. Something like ‘we are cats! Hear us yowl.”
“Great idea!” I yowl. “My handsome man owner has an amazing shirt that says CATS ARE PEOPLE TOO. If we can somehow find a way to produce those shirts in cat sizes and give to the felines of at least Seattle, then I’m sure we’re on our way to thwarting Vance’s plans.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Can’t wait for part two!~
Well done, Handsome Boy! And, if I may take a moment of your time, Vance’s repeated insults to childless people dismiss the reality that many, many childless people wish that that term did not apply to them. He is, indeed, a cruel man.
Love your t-shirt ideas and I’ll buy a bunch!! I’m yowling with you!
Purrrfectly proud cat lady, Mo