Raven Diary #39: Faraway Friends

Dear diary,

Raven here. ^^

Folks. While my humans were gone at Whidbey Island, I went on my own adventure to escape these REALLY loud, disturbing airplanes my humans call Blue Angels. There was also a guest human family at the house. Two grownup and two child humans. They left a couple nights ago and it’s much more peaceful. Anyway. My story all started Saturday morning.

I’m just sitting on my front porch, nervous that a loud plane will fly over at any moment, when I notice the guest human family walking into the van. One of the adult humans is carrying a suitcase with the words WASHINGTON DC printed on it in small, white print. Under those words is an address. I know my humans were not actually headed to DC, but if I could somehow get there quickly (telefartin is now somehow considered a serious crime that automatically sentences you to five years in cat prison) I could have an adventure with some new friends. I figure this should be a solo mission since Lolli is on his own trip to Idaho and I cannot think of any other cat who would be willing to travel all the way to Washington DC with me without telefarting. I head into the house via the stairs and start preparing for my big trip.

---

Once I’m finally all packed and ready to go, with a playlist of DC bands at my belt and a short memo sent out to the neighborhood cats, I run out the door to my red van I named Toulouse after a kitten in an old movie I love called The Aristocats.

---

The trip takes three exhausting days, with me sleeping in hotels along the way, but when I finally get to that address Sunday morning, I come out onto a beautiful scene. But before I can take it in, there’s a knock at the door. I unlock it and a black cat with white paws is standing there.

“Hi there,” I meow. “Names Raven. Nice to meet you.”

“Raven!” says the cat. “Thank goodness you’re here. My name’s Dante and me and my sister Kitten could really use another cat’s help. Our litter box is missing! It was there the day our humans left for Seattle, but when we woke up the next morning, it was nowhere in sight. Please Raven. We can’t just keep doing our business outside.”

“Dante,” I meow. “You’re speaking my language. I’m actually the cat of the family in Seattle who’s house your humans are currently at and I’ve solved my share of mysteries in my neighborhood.”

“Great!” yowls Dante. “Let’s get crackin’”

“First question,” I meow. “Where’s Kitten?”

“She’s downstairs,” Dante says. “She was the last one to use the litter box there before it disappeared. Here. Follow me.”

“I follow Dante inside the house and through the rooms to the basement. the house is like any other house you’d see. There’s a livingroom, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and of course the basement. it takes a while but when we finally get to the basement, we see a gray cat walking around angrily.

“I’ll find you darn litter box if it’s the last thing I ever do?” she growls. “Come out of your hiding spot! You and I have had so many memories together. I poop in you, and you provide me with a space to sit and just think.”

“Eww,” I meow. Then Kitten spots us.

“Hey bro,” she meows, all the anger gone from her voice. “Who’s this kind fella?”

She gestures to me with a paw. I fluff up my fur and try to look my best.

“I’m Raven Hanson and I’m a cat from Seattle who’s solved plenty of mysterious cases in my day,” I meow.

“Perfect!” yowls Kitten. “We’re gonna need more than two cats on the job. Let’s do this!”

“Have you guys seen any clues as to who might’ve stolen the litter box?” I ask.

“Well,” says Dante. “We did see weird plants mixed in with our rat soup breakfast plates this morning.”

“Wait just a minute,” says Kitten. “I think I know what that plant is! Come on. Follow me to the kitchen.

We follow Kitten to the kitchen, but halfway there, Dante spots a rack of towels and starts clawing at them vigorously, yowling ashe does so.

“It’s a weird hobby of his,” Kitten whispers to me. Then she turns to Dante and growls “Dante! We’ve talked about this. We have to focus on the task at paw. You can play with the towels all you want later. I promise.”

Dante stops ripping up the towels and sighs.

“Fine,” he growls. We continue to the kitchen and when we get there, we look at the strange long plants on the plates.

“Yep,” says Kitten. “Just as I suspected. It’s bamboo!”

I had no clue what bamboo was or where this was going, but Dante must have because he let out a huge gasp.

“NO!” he yowls “IT CAN’T BE!!!”

“Yep,” says Kitten “Tian Tian, Mei Xiang and Xiao Qi Ji the pandas at the National Zoo.”

“Pandas?!” I yowl. “But why would pandas steal something like a litter box?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” says Kitten. “Let’s head to the zoo!”

---

Once we arrive at the zoo, I follow Dante and Kitten to the panda exhibit. It’s a dark room with a clear window into the pandas. I can see the litter box next to the sleeping bears.

“We need a better view if we’re gonna get your litter box,” I meow.

It takes a while, but when we finally get into a better viewing area outside, we form a plan. I will not bore you with planning details. So let me just get to it.

At my signal, Dante creeps over to the pandas and gently puts a blindfold on each panda. Then, at Dante’s signal, Kitten and I creep in ourselves and on the count of three, all three of us haul the litter box out of the exhibit, all without the pandas noticing a thing. When we are out of range of the pandas. We whoop and yowl and high paw in celebration.

“Wooooooohooooo!” yowls Kitten. “We did it!”

“Yep,” I say. “Now all we have to do is bring it back to the house.”

“We found it just in time too,” meows Dante. “Because I need to go poo poo.”