Dear diary,
Raven here. ^^
Sorry folks. I’ve been a little busy lately, but here I go.
“Bruce who?” I meow in surprise. Lolli and I are in a corner of our neighbor, Ramona’s porch, staring at four bottles of CatShine Fur Dye. Lollipop growls and shakes his fur.
“Bruce Yowler used to be my best friend in high school, but at the end of our high school years, Bruce told me that he was going to a different college than I was, just to, and I quote, “rid me from his feline life for the rest of his days on Earth.” You may also know Bruce as the famous modern rapper Scrat Ching Post. He even wrote a song called Down with The Pop that was nothing but rapping about how bad I was. And he’s the only cat I know who still uses CatShine to this day!”
“YOWW!!!!!!!!!” I yowl. “I used to love Scrat Ching Post in the 80s, but that’s harsh. I’ll try to stay away from his music now. But why would Scrat Ching Post… I mean… Bruce be your best friend, and then proceed to turn on you? And most of all, if Bruce Yowler hated you that much, why would he frame you?”
Lolli growls. “Both of those questions can only be answered one way,” he says. “Going to Bruce’s house and confronting him once and for all.”
“Do you really want to confront Bruce?” I ask. “It seems you two have a very conflicting relationship.”
“True,” purrs Lolli, considering the matter. He strokes his facial fur in thought. After a few seconds, Lolli looks up.
“I’m sure,” Lolli purrs, standing up. “It’s the only way we can bring Ramona to justice and close this case for good.”
We arrive at Bruce’s house, house 4444, bringing the four CatShine bottles as proof. If Bruce tries to squirm his way out of being caught, we’ll show him the bottles and catch him red pawed. The house is made entirely of wood that’s dented and weathered in many spots. We walk up to the front door, which has an ornate, creepily accurate carving of a cat in mid-leap to attack an unsuspecting bird in the air. Lollipop and I both cringe at the sight. Lolli knocks on the door three times with a reluctant paw.
No answer.
“WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID BRUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lolli yowls, knocking vigorously.. “WE HAVE PROOF! OPEN UP!”
Still no answer.
“OPEN UP BRUCE!!!!!!” I yowl, knocking just as vigorously, if not more. Finally, Bruce opens the door. Bruce is all white from head to tail. He has on large headphones that he immediately takes off when he spots us. He turns off his feline phone and looks at us suspiciously.
“We know you sprayed CatShine Fur Dye on yourself to frame me,” Lolli growls, getting straight to the point. He holds up the four bottles accusingly. “Your fur is white, not a single trace of orange, yellow, brown, OR gold. There’s no turning back Bruce. Admit what you’ve done.”
“B… But i…” Bruce tries. Then, realizing he has no other choice, he sighs.
“Ok fine,” Bruce admits. I can hear a pinch of anger in his voice. “I only did it because I wanted to find a new producer to replace Mr. Fancypaws for my new album currently in the works.”
“Go on,” I say. “We are aware that your old producer, Mr. Fancypaws has completed all nine lives and is no longer with us.”
“Yes,” Lolli purrs. “I am also aware. Tragic loss. Go on Bruce.”
“I was trying to find a new producer,” Bruce continues. “But because of my tendency for cats to fight me when they meet me.” He snuck a sideways glance at Lollipop and gives what I’m pretty sure is a genuine smile. “I decided to disguise as Lollipop because he’s the cat anyone in the neighborhood can count on. I do mean that in a nice way, Lolli. I hated Lolli when we went to high school together, but now, you and Raven have turned out to be real nice cats.”
“Uhh…” I meow. “I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment but… I’ll take it.”
“Yeah,” says Lolli. Thanks… I guess. But what do we do now?”
“Well,” I purr, an idea forming in my head. “My handsome man owner watches a lot of music documentaries with his dad, and he listens to a lot of awesome music. Even though those documentaries are mostly too boring and complicated to fully follow, I’ve picked up a few things about rap and music production. I’m not the most professional, but until you find someone better, I could be your producer for your next album, Bruce.”
“You’d really do that for me?” Bruce asks excitedly. “Well count me in!”
“And we can start the rapping right at Ramona’s house,” says Lolli. “If Ramona hates us this much, then we need to bring her to justice in a big way. What if we go to Ramona’s house and do a slightly unprofessional, free style rap telling Ramona what a terrible human she is.”
Bruce and I both agree and that’s exactly what we do. We run back to Ramona’s porch a walk around to the back door. In the dark brown of the back door was a bell and on the bell was a small camera.
“Not as good as the fisheye cameras in the Beastie Cats’s videos,” Bruce remarked. “But it’ll do. Hit it Raven!”
I pushed the red record button, and we went to town rapping. We rapped about how stupid Ramona was. How no cat deserved the disrespect Ramona gave them. It felt so good to fight for feline justice. And to know that we had closed this case for good.
THE END…
I love it. Your writing and grammar are perfect. Have you ever read, “Watership Down?” Your story reminds me of that, which is a compliment. god bless you, dude.
Handsome Boy Writes
It was a fun and interesting story to read. Thank you very much! Keep up the good work! Meow-Yowl!
very good story!
Thank you for making me laugh!
Love the story, keep on writing!
It’s a nice story!!! greetings!!