Dear diary.
Raven here.
This diary is top secret to any humans, especially the ones who have read my last five miserable tales, and especially my own owners.
Folks, I need to act natural for just a couple more minutes while my humans pack for their trip. I’m working on my signal and it should just have cats involved. I still have lots to do. I need to make my playlist, cook the mouse guts and much more.
Okay. They’re gone folks. Time to send my signal.
WOSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Now I just need to wait for you to arrive
“Hello folks, Come in, come in!”
“Greetings ladies and gentlecats. Welcome to catapaloosa. My name is Raven Hanson, and today is a great day for catapaloosa. As you know, catapaloosa is a secret cat party that happens very frequently throughout the year. This is top secret, so DON’T GO RUNNING OFF TELLING YOUR OWNERS, OKAY! IS THAT CLEAR?”
All 600 of you meow in agreement.
“This time, we have a baby bunny chasing station outside, a station devoted to playing with all my human’s toys and much more cat friendly fun! And don’t forget, we’ll be watching the musical Cats at 12:35. Until then, you can roam around, check things out and have fun!”
You all meow in excited approval.
You all had been playing and exploring for about an hour when we heard a horrifying noise that made us stop in our tracks
RUFF!! YIP!!!! YAP!!!!!! RUFF RUFF
“Uhhhhh. Raven? Did you accidentally add any dogs to your signal? Peter asks from the front row. Because I hear some right behind us!!!!!!!!”
“No Peter,” I assure him, “I was very careful to only broadcast it to all the cats in Seattle and no dogs.”
“Then what’s that?”, Metilda shrieks, pointing toward the door.
Coming through the door are five barking and yapping dogs, running at us at a dangerously high speed
“How did they get in here?!”, I yell over all the barking, yapping and howling.
“We like knowing what you cats are up to,” one dog says. “Sometimes, we like listening in to the cat radio”
“Your message got out”, another says, looking me in the eye. “We decided to intercept your little party and ruin all your cat fun.”
“We need to chase them off!”, I yell.
MROWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUFF RUFF RUFF YIP YAP YIP YIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“We need a trap!” I say. “I have a plan. Let’s go out to the backyard and I’ll explain everything.”
We all run out to the backyard and I close the door before any of those dogs can follow us.
My owners didn’t know it, but I knew the controls to the garage door remote, and ten minutes later, all 601 of us (including me) were gathered around the garage waiting for my plan to unfold. I punch in the code, and all 600 of you watch in astonishment as the remote control garage door opens all by itself.
After what feels like 8 of our 9 lives (of course it’s only two hours), we hear the familiar barking, yipping, yapping and howling of the dogs.
“Here they come”, Watson purrs nervously.
When the dogs are close enough, I hit the button to close the garage. We all hear the barking and whimpering of frustration as the garage door closes on the dogs. All 601 of us jump up, high-paw and hug in triumph.
“Quick”, I whisper when the celebration is over. “My humans are coming”.
We clean up as fast as we can and everyone dashes home. I walk in the house and act normal as if nothing crazy had just happened at all.
Oh my goodness! I could literally feel the fear the cats felt when the dogs were about to reach them 😆 I love all these stories I can’t wait to read more 😄
These are so funny!!