Raven diary #4: Jedi

Dear diary.

Raven here.

The past three volumes have been dreadful, but this is a tale that is so miserable, so dreadful that it is bound to be banned from the Caten Hill library. When I finish writing this woeful story, these pages will be tear stained with grief.

Folks. Human guests are here and one human is,,, ummmmmmmm,,, it’s so wild, I can’t even say it. This human is.. uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,, is,, is,,

ALERGIC TO CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for that very reason, the human family has locked me downstairs while a dog prowls the house. I want to demolish that dog. Just rip him to shreds. BUT I CAN’T! What a sad and unfortunate way to go.

A couple minutes later, I hear humans speaking

“Quick”, one says, “Protect her from Lollipop!

Wait. Lollipop? My frenemy? I peek through the bars of my cage to see a horrible sight. My frenemy is stalking the dog like he’s completely forgotten about me!

I pace my cage in pure anger. THAT’S MY FRENEMY!!!!  I think. WHY DOES THAT STINKIN’ CAT ALWAYS  GET SO LUCKY!!! WHY IS THE HUMAN ALERGIC TO CATS!!! AND MOST OF ALL, WHY AREN’T I THE ONE OUT TERE STALKING THE DOG!!!!

I guess I’ll just have to wait till nextime.

HRUMPH!

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